Does dying, speaking in front of people, or spiders scare you?

Read time 3 minutes

In This Weeks Leadership Toolbox:

Apply: Lessons about Facing Your Fears (This video will scare you, I promise)

Practice: 1 commitment to do something that scares you (Picture of me facing my fear)

Learn: How to get out of your comfort zone (LinkedIn Live Event for you, register here)

Introduction

During the past few weeks, I have done something really scary for myself.

Most people are afraid of at least one or more of these:

1. Death

2. Public Speaking

3. Spiders and Insects

4. Heights

5. Darkness

6. Snakes

7. Enclosed Spaces

8. Ghosts

9. Failure

10. Social Rejection

So in this week’s issue, I’d like to help you take steps to face your fears

Let’s jump in…

Applying Lessons About Facing Your Fears

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Fears:

Scenario: You're about to present to a large audience, and you feel anxious.

· Option A (Avoidance): You try to distract yourself from the fear by procrastinating or finding excuses to avoid the presentation.

· Option B (Acknowledgment): You recognize your fear and remind yourself that feeling nervous before a big presentation is normal. You take deep breaths and tell yourself you can handle it.

 2. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

Scenario: You're considering applying for a new job but scared of rejection.

· Option A (Negative Self-Talk): You tell yourself you're not good enough and convince yourself not to apply.

· Option B (Positive Affirmations): You challenge negative thoughts by reminding yourself of past successes and skills. You tell yourself that even if you don't get the job, it's worth trying, and you'll learn from the experience.

 3. Gradual Exposure:

Scenario: You're terrified of flying but want to visit a faraway destination.

· Option A (Avoidance): You avoid booking any flights and miss out on opportunities to travel.

· Option B (Gradual Exposure): You take short or virtual flights to desensitize yourself to the fear. Over time, you gradually increase the distance and duration of your flights until you feel more comfortable flying.

 4. Seek Support:

Scenario: You're afraid of public speaking and have an important presentation coming up.

· Option A (Isolation): You keep your fear to yourself and try to tackle it alone.

· Option B (Seeking Support): You confide in a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist about your fear of public speaking. They offer encouragement, advice, and maybe even accompany you to practice your presentation.

Reflect on Your Response to Fear:

If you notice yourself leaning towards Option A, recognize that it's natural to feel scared but avoiding or denying your fears can hold you back. Start integrating the strategies from Option B into your approach to facing fears. By acknowledging, challenging, gradually exposing yourself, and seeking support, you can overcome your fears and grow stronger in the process.

Practice: Make 1 Commitment

This all sounds pretty good, but what do I do now you ask?

Step 1: Name 1 of your Fears (seriously, take a pause and name 1)

Step 2: Reflect on why this fear scares you

Step 3: Consider how you might TRY again using the 4 techniques discussed previously: Validate your fear, challenge negative thoughts, gradual exposure, and seek support

Step 4: Make 1 commitment to face this fear. Name the fear, set a date to make progress, figure out what you hope to accomplish, and go for it.

I mentioned earlier that I faced 1 of my fears recently.

Parasailing. I’m not afraid of heights, but heights over exposed water was a scary proposition since I’m a mediocre swimmer at best. I also went zip-lining over water because I had built some confidence. This turned out to be a 2 for 1 week.

(Picture of me facing my fear and parasailing with my terrified daughter)

I was able to face this fear because I had a negative idea about how the landing would take place. I had this vision of the boat lowering the parasailers into the open ocean and ejecting you for a big splash. These ideas held me back until I learned this is not how it works. This idea proved to be false, and my self-talk held me back.

Learn

To learn more, I’ve organized a LinkedIn Live event on April 15, 2024 at 12pm EDT called “Your Comfort Zone is Killing You” with special guest Billy Anderson, International Speaker, Author and aptly named the Courage Coach

You can sign up for the event here, where you can attend live or watch the recording.

Highlights: This Week On LinkedIn

In case you missed it, I curated a guide of my top ‘9 Models and Tools” on LinkedIn and it hosted some brilliant conversations inside our community.

To check it out, go here and join the other 100,000+ that saw it.

Be sure to let me know what you think by tagging @rogerthompson in the comments!

Thanks for reading this far!

Until next time,

Founder of The UnThinkable

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P.P.S.

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